Setting Goals with your Fiancé
Setting Goals with your Fiancé
Happy New Year! I think we are all excited to be done with 2020 and looking forward to what positive changes 2021 has in store for us. In this blog I want to share some insight about setting goals together. I know, the whole “new year new me” is so cliché, but I want you to think beyond the typical New Year Resolutions of losing weight and focus more on how your fiancé and future spouse can help you be accountable.
Research shows that when you set goals and have an accountability partner, you are more likely to achieve your goal. In addition, research also shows that couples who set goals together and support each other are likely to experience a higher level of connection. This is of course because providing support involves practicing open communication, engaging in quality time together, and checking-in with each other’s individual interests, which in turn expresses a sense of caring.
I also want to clarify that setting goals together with your partner does not mean that you and your partner need to have the same goals, nor do you have to reach your goals at the same time. For example, if your goal is to learn a new hobby, your partner does not have to learn the same hobby, unless of course they have the same interest.
For this activity, take some time to sit down and think about what your goals are. Have a conversation about these are and how you can support and encourage each other.
Here are some ideas to think about when setting goals together:
- Finances: Anything you plan to save for or pay down?
- Hobbies you want to try
- Relationship goals: How you will maintain connection?
- Family/Friendship goals: Any relationships you want to improve?
- Education/Career goals
- Mental health/self-care goals
Follow up questions to discuss together:
- We are most thankful for ___ happening in 2020.
- We both learned ___ in 2020.
- We are looking forward to ___ in 2021 because this will mean ___.
- I will help you reach your goal of ___ because I know how important it is for you.
- We will prioritize ___ in order to increase our connection.
When you set goals with your partner, you are taking the time to practice giving and getting support. Which asking for help can sometimes be challenging. I encourage you to also reflect and think of how you would want your fiancé to help you be accountable. This is a great way to ask for support and to acknowledge what may be challenging for you.
If you are interested in taking this activity a step further, feel free to check out my online course called Two Souls One Goal. It takes you step by step in setting goals together. This online class is also part of the Diamond Premarital Package, which guides you through improving your communication, expressing care, and how to engage in quality time when life gets busy. Plus the diamond package qualifies for the Twogether in Texas certificate with gets you $60 off your marriage license and waives the 3 day waiting period.
Setting goals together is not restricted to just the New Year and can be done at any time. Remember that when you reach a goal, celebrate together! For example, a big one that you have coming up is your wedding day!
By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling
Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples and helps them learn the strategic tools needed so that they can be on the same page throughout every chapter of their lives. Check out this premarital online course and this free conversation checklist!