Part of planning for your marriage is knowing what to expect during your first year of being married and know that this first year will naturally bring up many different changes within your relationship.

Below are some topics/events to discuss and think about with your fiancé.

1. Making a big decision together
   • Whether this decision is purchasing a new home, a new vehicle, going on a big vacation, doing some upgrades to your home, or switching jobs, it’s going to require some open communication between you both and will possibly need to some sort of compromise.
2. You might have a heated discussion/fight
   • This is normal! Especially if you have not lived together before marriage. The most important thing to remember is to continue to treat each other with respect and remember your conflict management skills!
3. You will constantly be asked if you are going to have a baby soon
   • Whether this is from your grandma, mother-in-law, or the acquaintance at work, know that this question will pop up. Have a conversation with your partner on how you will answer this question. If you both are planning on having a baby, then great! But if you both have decided that now is not the right time, how will you support each other when this question continues to come up.
4. You will need a new goal to focus on
   • For the last few months, and maybe even year or so, your focus has been on your big day and honeymoon. Couples who can set goals together, often experience a heightened level of relationship satisfaction. After your honeymoon and when you feel like the wedding dust has settled, take time to talk about what you both want to work towards during this next year and how you will hold each other accountable.
5. How you have fun may change
   • This can come in many different forms, whether that is not staying out so late, having game nights with a group of friends, or doing more couple-based activities. Discuss how you plan to continue to have fun either together or with your group of friends and don’t assume that your partner will just know.
6. You will need to take your partners side
   • This can sometimes be a tricky one, especially if this involves multiple people you care about. For example, standing up to your parents/friends and telling them no if it means somehow protecting plans you already have with your partner. Or this can mean supporting your partner’s point of view if they are venting something to you. Try tuning into your empathic skills here!

Have you downloaded the free conversation checklist with main topics that you and your fiancé should have before your big day? Download it now!

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples by providing them with the strategic relationship tools needed to plan for their marriage. Engaged couples can learn skills like how to be empathic , how to manage conflict, how to compromise with one another by completing an online course geared towards relationship skill building or scheduling an in-person session.