Has it felt that every weekend has been filled with some sort of wedding planning? Or perhaps that dinner conversations and evening plans are centered around the big day?

This time of your wedding planning journey can feel overwhelming and can lead to thoughts that maybe you and your fiancé are not spending enough quality time together. When I hear engaged couples talk about lack of quality time being spent together, I often go through an exercise to challenge these thoughts and to get a clear picture of what quality time looks like.

So, here is a small preview of what that activity consists of:

1. Think of what rituals you and your partner do together that you both find valuable.
   • This can be expressing “I love you” in unique ways, asking about each other’s day, a big hug after getting home, etc.
   • Rituals do not have to be time consuming, they are something that is noticed by both of you.
2. Now ask yourselves how much time you dedicate everyday to these shared rituals.
   • It may be that your hug and kiss lasts about one minute in the morning and one minute when you get home.
   • Texting your fiancé throughout the day to see how their day is going may consists of 5 minutes a day.
   • Dig deep and try to be as specific as possible.
3. Now, add up the minutes you share throughout the day and multiply by the number of days you do this throughout the week.
   • So, if you text each other only during the week while you are at work, multiply by 5.
   • If you spend time cuddling before going to bed every night, multiply that number by 7.
4. Based on what your answer was, that is how you are currently spending quality time together.
   • Did you like your result?
   • If not, what can you do to change it?
   • How can you add an extra 3 hours of quality time during your week right now?

Quality time does not mean the same thing as quantity. So, when you feel that there is never enough time in the day and you feel that you are missing your fiancé, slow down and check in to see how much quality time you are actually engaging in. Have an honest conversation with your fiancé on how they feel about this and come up with some clear expectations together.

Have you downloaded the free conversation checklist with main topics that you and your fiancé should have before your big day? Download it now!

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples by providing them with the strategic relationship tools needed to plan for their marriage. Engaged couples can learn skills like how to identify what commitment means or how to improve communication skills by completing an online course geared towards relationship skill building or scheduling an in-person session.