In the case you are wondering, “do I really have to plan to be sad?” the answer is kind of. Let me explain, experiencing some post wedding blues is normal and is definitely worth discussing as you are planning for one of the biggest days in your life.

What causes someone to experience Post Wedding Blues?

Here are some of the top 5 reasons as to what causes Post Wedding Blues:

• Wedding planning is glamorous
  • The attention of focusing on your ring and talking about your progress towards the big day suddenly ends. While it can be overwhelming to talk about your wedding, it can also be fun and after the wedding, some of this light conversation ends.
• Loss of connectivity:
  • While wedding planning, you may feel more connected with friends and family than you were before. And perhaps, you are looking forward to your wedding, as it will bring some friends and family together that you haven’t seen in a while. However, after your wedding day, you may experience this connection to dwindle and it can feel a little empty.
• Time for Reality:
  • After your wedding day, it may be time to take a leap of faith in something you have been holding off. Perhaps it’s moving across the country, changing jobs, or starting a family. Life transitions, regardless how blissful they can be, do still require change and an adjustment phase, which for some people can be a little scary.
• Dopamine crash:
  • Experiencing a mood shift after your wedding is normal, especially if you are finally allowing yourself to slow down. This can occur due to experiencing both an adrenaline and dopamine boost leading up to your wedding.
• The “now what” scenario:
  • There are so many events and tasks to do before your big day, that it can feel a little weird and empty to not have a super long to-do list after your wedding

Here are some tips on how you can possibly prepare yourself for some version of the post wedding blues?

• Talk with your partner:
  • You are planning a big day that revolves around the love you and your fiancé have for each other and the person you want to spend your life with, so definitely turn to them first when processing this idea. Maybe brainstorm what are ways you can help each other out of experiencing a funk. Or maybe talk about how this happens for some people and when the time comes, it does not mean you are regretting marriage but maybe just experiencing some emptiness.
• Open up with your friends and family:
  • Chances are this emotion may be felt by more than just you and your fiancé, but is possible to be experienced by parents and siblings. Especially for families where maybe you were living at home up until marriage or all of a sudden, you are now living in a new state. Remember, it’s a normal feeling to experience and it’s sometimes nice to know that you are not alone.
• Highlight importance of your marriage:
  • After your wedding, communicate with your partner what you enjoyed most, what was your favorite memory and find ways to cherish those moments. Share with each other what you are most looking forward to together as a couple. You can ask questions like: What does your marriage mean to you? Couples during premarital counseling get the chance to process this together as they are planning for their big day, they are also planning for their marriage and can then go back to this after their honeymoon return!

• Plan something else:
  • I know, you just got done with one of the biggest projects, but let’s take a moment and recognize all the organizational skills you mastered along the way. Pour some of that energy into a creative project, planning fun date nights, into your meals, etc. As humans, we naturally get excited/motivated to look forward to something, so think of what you and your spouse will accomplish next!
• Get professional help:
  • Experiencing a sense of loss after your wedding is natural and situational. However, if you experience this feeling to continue for more than 6 months, it is best to seek out professional help to process if there are any other factors contributing to your sadness.

Whether you are currently planning your wedding or already had your wedding, I highly recommend reflecting on how you and your partner handle difficult conversations discussing emotions. Feel free to find ways on how you and your fiancé can improve your communication and listening skills. 

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling 

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples and helps them learn the strategic tools needed so that they can be on the same page throughout every chapter of their lives.