10 Ways To Determine

Your Compatibility

Couples Corner

Have you ever wondered, “will our relationship make it?” or “are we compatible?” It may be hard to answer this question right away, but as you get to learn about each other, you will uncover some parts of your relationship that will give you confidence in knowing that you and your fiancé are compatible.


There are many different areas of a relationship in which compatibility will play out, but the more serious question is knowing that the two of you will be able to co-exist together without feeling that you are giving up a part of your core values. Be aware that there will be some sort of conflict or disagreements in your relationship, and this does not mean you are not compatible, it means you both are two individual people with two different perceptions. Know that this is normal, and you can find out more about managing conflict by going here.


Here are 10 ways to know that you and your fiancé are compatible:

  • You share a mutual commitment to your relationship
    • It’s not so much being on the same page about every little thing, but committing to working together to meet in the middle on what is important in your life.
  • You are committed to sharing each other’s needs
    • The only way to meet in the middle is to know where you both are starting out. So, it’s important to be able to share what your own needs are so that your fiance understands.
  • You feel confident in knowing that your partner will be there for you in times of need
    • Sharing your thoughts and being vulnerable in a relationship is what will lead to increasing trust and security.
  • You share the same common goals and/or can support each other’s goals
    • This is a good one to discuss especially when it comes to money! One partner wants to save and get out of debt, while the other wants to travel the world. A couple like this can still be compatible, but both partners must know they need to compromise and find a middle ground.
  • You have discussed your views on starting a family
    • While you may not be able to control everything revolving around family planning, it’s important to be on the same page on whether or not you will take the leap to start a family.


  • You share and practice similar core values
    • Do you know your own core values? Have you been able to share these with each other? Which core values play out daily for you? What core values are not willing to compromise on?
  • You understand each other’s political views
    • Do you have similar political views? If you answered no, no need to panic! About 38% of households have different political views. This is a time to learn from your partner and to understand what led him or her to have a certain belief, not a time to say you are right and your partner is wrong.
  • The best part of you comes out when you are around each other
    • You feel confident and most comfortable when you are around your partner.
  • You are attracted to each other, physically, sexually, and intellectually
    • This helps in the maintenance of being interested in your partner in the long-run.
  • You share an understanding of roles you want in your relationship
    • Are you hoping to have a more traditional relationship or more egalitarian? Have you discussed what this would look like in your relationship? Will this change if you decide to have children?

If you would like to learn more about your compatibility, I encourage you to check out one of my  premarital packages! You and your fiancé will take a questionnaire that will survey all aspects of your relationship to learn your strengths and areas of improvement! My different online relationship classes will also walk you through different relationships skills to understand your compatibility.


By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples by helping them to develop a solid foundation for their marriage and discuss expectations.




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