Being a good wedding guest might not be as simple as it seems. While there are some things that may seem obvious about how to be a good wedding guest, there are some that may not be as obvious to most of you. This list gives you 10 ways to avoid being the worst wedding guest ever. Take our advice into consideration, and I know that couple getting married will appreciate you being there.

1. Don’t wear white to the wedding (unless specified by the couple)

If this first one is news to you… I’m glad you’re here. In the majority of wedding celebrations we see in the United States, the only people wearing white are the people getting married. In some modern weddings, we are beginning to see couples in color and the request that their guests wear white. Unless your couple tells you to wear white, just DON’T do it.

2. Don’t text the bride on the day of her wedding

The couple you’re about to celebrate already has enough on their plate, if possible, avoid texting or calling them directly on the day of their wedding. If they have not already provided a point of contact for you, ask them for that info far in advance so that you can be prepared for whatever may come on the day of the wedding. You’ll most likely want to reach their planner, maid-of-honor, or mother-of-the-bride before trying to reach the couple directly.

3. Don’t forget to RSVP

RSVP’s exist for a very crucial reason: throwing extravagant parties ain’t cheap. Your attendance could cost the couple anywhere from $50-500 depending on the caliber of their event. Take the time to solidify your attendance and send in your RSVP. Typically couples will include postage for your return letter, so there’s really no excuse to leave them hanging on this one. RSVP and make sure you secure your seat.

4. Don’t post pictures of the couple or their wedding

More often than not, the couple you’re celebrating is going to want to be the first ones to share memories from their wedding online. Some couples even go to the extent of having an “unplugged” wedding to avoid people sharing pictures online before they get the chance to. Give the couple their moment, and be patient. You’ll be able to share about their wedding eventually.

5. Don’t get up and take pictures during the ceremony

Even if the couple doesn’t note their ceremony as an “unplugged” one, do yourself a favor and put your phone away. The photos you might be able to capture will not be worth the loss of removing yourself from the moment. The ceremony will fly by, and I promise you their photographer is a professional and knows how and when to take their pictures. Let them do their job as the photographer, and you do yours as the guest.

6. Don’t request a different meal

Most couples getting married these days will have 2-3 options for their guests when it comes to their meals. While you are encouraged to select the meal of your choice from that list, it is not your place to ask for anything besides what you are offered. The couple you are celebrating has put a lot of time and energy into designing their menu and picking meals that represent their relationship. If you’re not into it, eat a big meal before or wait out for some late night snacks instead.

7. Don’t request music (unless specified by the couple)

Again, unless the couple you’re celebrating has opened up the option for song requests, it is safe to assume that they worked with their DJ to create the playlist that they want playing during their reception. Trust that the couple had their guests interest in mind as well, and have a good time learning more about the couples taste in music instead of trying to impose your own.

8. Don’t get too crazy at the open bar

Just because the bar says open, doesn’t mean it’s a free for all. Have a good time ,but respectfully. Don’t be that guest that ends up stumbling around, or crying about the love you lost… this is just not the right time or place for that. Make your couple feel loved by celebrating them safely and without making a fool out of yourself.

9. Don’t get them a gift that isn’t on their registry

At the end of the day, being a good wedding guest comes down to respecting your couples wishes. When it comes to gift giving, your couple has most likely spent hours considering what to include on their online registry. If it’s not on their list, don’t even look at it. Your couple will be far more appreciative that you took the time to pick something that they truly need compared to something that you want to give them.

10. Don’t try and be the star of the show

You might be used to being the prettiest person in the room, but on someone else’s wedding day, do your best to let the attention be drawn to the couple you are celebrating instead. It’s recommended to avoid full blown hair and makeup as a wedding guest, leave that to the bridal party. Another suggestion is to avoid sequins or any glitter pattern that might take attention away from the bride’s dress.

So, to summarize the list… make sure you are doing everything you can to respect the couple you are celebrating. Read the invitation, look over the wedding website, and make sure you are keeping up with any updates the couple might be sending out. You’re not getting invited to this wedding for no reason, this couple wants you present and wants you t be a part of their festivities. Respect their requests and what you have read in this article, and there’s no way you’ll be the worst wedding guest ever again.