Setting your marriage up for success is only possible through communication. We have all heard it before, communication is key, and it really is. Without communication, we would be in the dark about so much. Here are some important topics to have a conversation about with your fiancé before you walk down the aisle and some resources to help you along the way!

What topics are important

Some important topics that are important to talk about with your partner are the following:

• Do you want to start a family
• What are your expectations for sexual intimacy
• Where do you want to live
• Is religion important to you or your family of origin
• Financial expectations

Some of these topics may be really easy to talk about, especially if you find out that you both agree on them from the start. But if you do find out that you are not on the same page or timeline, then it’s normal for the conversation to feel a little uneasy or even awkward. Working towards a compromise or some understanding is key, especially if it is a topic that will be life changing or a deal break (i.e. having or not having children).

If you would like some extra help on what topics to cover with your partner, be sure to check out this helpful conversation checklist that is free to download!  

Why talk about these topics now versus later

Some of these topics can be life changing and for some, even a deal breaker in relationships. While there are some topics that you can reach a compromise, perhaps when you plan to get out of debt or what kind of house you want to buy, there are other situations in which you cannot compromise on such as having a baby. Having these conversations early on is crucial and having realistic expectations for yourselves is so important. For example, believing that getting married and having a wedding will convince someone to change their mind on something that is important for them (i.e. having a child) is not realistic.

When you give yourself and your partner the opportunity to share their needs about specific topics, you are giving yourselves the opportunity to support each other and are creating a space to know that your needs can also be met.

Tips to have challenging conversations

I understand that some of these conversations may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Here are some tips to help you:

• Take a deep breath before starting the conversation
• Write it down, which by the way this free checklist has a worksheet for you to use.
• Break it up into multiple conversations. It’s normal to feel exhausted or overwhelmed with a conversation and it’s okay to come back to the conversation.

Now What

Now that you and your partner are aware of what conversations to have and maybe already had the opportunity to share your side, don’t forget to touch base on these topics as changes come up in your relationship. We naturally grow and change as individuals, and in order to stay on the same page throughout your marriage, taking time to update each other on these topics will keep your relationship and bond strong.

If you are interested in additional resources to assist in your communication with your partner, be sure to check this out:

• Free Conversation Checklist
• A guide that will help you strengthen your relationship for only $17
• Videos and additional worksheets packages

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling 

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples  and helps them learn the strategic tools needed so that they can be on the same page throughout every chapter of their lives.