Common Reasons

Couples Argue

Couples Corner

Have you and your fiancé had one of these common arguments?

Have you and your fiancé experienced any kind of arguments or moments of conflict lately? If you are like many couples, the chances are you have. I know this can be shocking, as this is a time that everything “should” be blissful and exciting, but like I’ve mentioned before, having arguments is normal. These are some common arguments that engaged couples have and know that you are not alone on this one.

Common arguments couples have are:
Having separate goals about finances
Questions to consider:
  • Should combine your bank accounts after marriage?
  • How are we tackling financial responsibilities together?

If you haven’t had this conversation yet, this is probably the best time to. Get comfortable with talking about money and understanding your different spending/saving habits. The sooner you’re on the same page, the easier it will be moving forward.

Different family values
Questions to consider:
  • How much time you wish to spend with family?
  • What do family boundaries mean?
  • How are we going to split up the holidays?
  • Are we wanting to grow a family?

Sometimes couples like to think “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” but if you know for a fact you do not want to grow a family, or you are not used to spending countless hours with family, talk about it now! Don’t assume that your partner “will just know” because this can lead to more arguments and resentment later.

Different levels of desire when it comes to sexual intimacy
Questions to consider:
  • What turns you on?
  • What does sexual intimacy mean to you?

When couples are not on having as much sex as they “think they should be,” they sometimes quickly jump to conclusions that “something must be wrong with the relationship.” Let me be the one to tell you that desire discrepancy among couples is normal. Take the time to explore and ask each other questions about your sexual expectations.

If you would like to learn more about common arguments couples have and how to prepare yourself to have these conversations, download this conversation checklist today!

Something to keep in mind when having these conversations is to challenge yourself if you are holding on to some pride or a sense of needing to be “right.” It may be more about wanting to feel understood.

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, owner of Modern Wellness counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples by helping them to learn healthy relationship skills that will lead to a successful marriage.

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