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Post Wedding Blues are Real and How to Handle Them

Modern Wellness Counseling

Post Wedding Blues are Real and How to Handle Them

During my time with working with newlyweds, I have heard a common theme of experiencing some sort of “Post Wedding Blues” after their big day.

So, are Post Wedding Blues a myth? Post wedding blues are real for some people and there are a few reasons as to why some people (brides, grooms, and immediate family) may experience this. If you experience this, it does not mean that you are ungrateful or upset that something went wrong with your wedding or are regretting your marriage. Often, newlyweds who experience this report that their wedding day was the best, but somehow are experience an empty feeling.

How does this happen? Well just like many emotions, people are going to experience them differently, but here are a few reasons why someone may experience some version of the “post wedding blues”

Loss of connectivity:

For the duration of your wedding planning journey, you have had more connection with friends and family by looking towards a common goal together. Talking about details of your big day, friends checking in with you and asking if you need help with anything, family planning fun parties for you and your fiancé, having fun getting dressed up while dress shopping, taking engagement pictures, and the list goes on. Suddenly, after the big day, some people may experience this connection to slow down. This is of course normal but can be felt as a sense of “losing” something.

Dopamine crash:

As you have experienced, planning a wedding can be exciting and stressful. In both situations, your brain is naturally producing some adrenaline and dopamine to keep you moving forward. Well after your big day, there is somewhat of a crash that happens. Again, this is natural and healthy for your body and brain to slow down. However, you can experience a mood shift when this occurs.

Wedding planning is glamorous:

Okay, I know some of you may be thinking “I can’t wait until the wedding is over!” But let’s face it, being engaged and planning a wedding can be fun and is in some way glamorous. You and your relationship are the hot topic, people love staring at your ring, asking you questions about your honeymoon, and there is more positive attention on you. Now is your worth only based on your wedding day, of course not! But wedding talk can be an escape for many people, even your guests and family members, so naturally, it is often what comes up in conversation and in how we spend our time.

Time for Reality:

A wedding is a milestone event which can be the beginning to a new journey. Sometimes that journey involves moving cities, completing lots of paperwork to change your name, going after that new job, going back to school, thinking of starting a family, buying a new home. Regardless of what your journey looks like, somethings in your life may change and this can be unsettling for some people. It is natural for change to increase anxiety, stress, and worry. Learning and utilizing coping skills and communication skills to share what is happening for you will be a game changer during this transition in your life.

The “now what” scenario:

Leading up to your big day, your calendar is booked with showers, parties, dress appointments, vendor appointments, pinning ideas, etc. With how much time and mental energy that goes into planning a wedding, afterwards can feel a little empty in that you have to find a way to fill that time up again. It can feel a little weird to not know what to do or to realize that you no longer have to send your maid of honor or mom that “fun idea you need to remember to do.”

Which leads me to my next point of, what do you do then to overcome the “wedding blues.”

Talk with your partner:

You just got married and vowed to share your life together, in good times and in bad. It is okay to share what you are experiencing with your partner. It does not mean that you are regretting being married, remember this is normal, and luckily for you, your partner is someone you can lean on.

Highlight importance of your marriage:

After your wedding, it is important to focus on what you have gained from your big day, like your amazing spouse! What does your marriage mean to you? Couples during premarital counseling get the chance to process this together as they are planning for their big day, they are also planning for their marriage and can then go back to this after their honeymoon return!

Plan something else:

All those organizational skills you mastered during your wedding planning can now be applied to something else. Be creative in what you will be planning next. Some ideas are refreshing your home or fun date nights. As humans, we naturally get excited/motivated to look forward to something, so think of what you and your spouse will accomplish next!

Get professional help:

Experiencing a sense of loss after your wedding is natural and situational. However, if you experience this feeling to continue for more than 6 months, it is best to seek out professional help to process if there are any other factors contributing to your sadness.

Priscilla Rodriguez, MS., LMFT. -SanAntonioWeddings.com -BridalBuzz

If you are reading this and are still planning for your wedding, have a conversation now of how you will handle moments of feeling down and sad, or experience some version of the “wedding blues.” Consider improving your communication and listening skills so you both know how to handle a situation like this, or any other moment you may be feeling “blue.”

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples and helps them learn the strategic tools needed so that they can be on the same page throughout every chapter of their lives.

 

 

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